Score My Heart // Chapter Eighteen

She was obviously a whore, her voice said it all. Oh. And the guy said he loved me... WHAT. TOTAL. BULLSHIT.

“Well I don’t know hun, why don’t you ask your man if he’d like to join you.” I growled into the phone before slamming the phone to Sid’s chest so he could answer his little puck bunny.

By now, my blood was boiling over as I jumped off the counter, stomping into my room, slamming the door behind me, leaving a shocked Sid in the kitchen with his phone in his hand. How could he do this to me? He said he loved me! And I thought he’d meant it. But obviously not, if he had some unfinished business with the slut on the other side of the phone.I flopped down on my bed, angrily. Grabbing my pillow and screaming into it, this time not from excitement but pure fury, anger, frustration, hurt. I felt the tears start to collect in my eyes, and the rising sob stuck in my throat. I quickly swallowed it down. Trying to just forget what had just happened.. Eveything was perfect. Then she called. I could hear Sid’s angry voice coming from the kitchen. It hurt. It hurt way too much. The tears started to fall from my eyes. Fine I’ll cry, but I won’t let one sob out. It was hard, but I kept that sob in. I heard the door knob turn and heard the door creak open as he stepped into my room. “Roxy,” he spoke softly, I heard disappointment in his voice. “Go away.” I said into my pillow. “What did you say?” I heard him ask as I felt the bed move with his weight. I raised my head from the pillow and turned it towards him. I put as much vile into my voice as I could. “Leave me alone. Get. Out. RIGHT NOW.” I said, but my voice betrayed me, breaking. He could see the tears in my eyes and I could see the hurt in his eyes from my words. He put a soft hand on my back. “Roxy, please. Let’s talk.” He was fucking cheating on me and he wanted to TALK!? No way in hell. I just wanted him OUT. I surged up into a sitting position. He pulled his hand away in surprise. My eyes glared at him with such force that he flinched. “Well, Sid. What did you want to talk about?” I said giving him no opportunity to answer. “How about the fact I actually believed that you loved me, and that I actually loved you too. And how much love I felt for you as I kissed you at the door. And how much you hurt me as I heard that bitch’s voice in the phone, you fucking cheating MOTHER FUCKER.” I spat at him. “You lied to me. You said you loved me and you promised me there was no one else! You hurt me. I want to you leave, RIGHT NOW CROSBY!” His expression was full of shock, hurt, and regret. “I didn’t lie to you, Roxy.” He whispered intensely, his whole face was intense, even his eyes. It hurt to look at him. And it hurt more to hear what he said next. “And I do love you.” It hurt ’cause I knew it was a lie. I could feel the tears coming on again and my throat closing in again. I closed my eyes as hard as I could, hoping that the tears would go away, and I swallowed as hard as I could hoping that the sobs wouldn’t come out. “Get out.” I whispered one last final time. And he got it. He had to leave. It hurt even more to hear him get up, I couldn’t bear to watch him walk away. I wish I could just disappear. But my body wouldn’t let me, I was left there listening to his heavy footsteps as he made his was to the front door and out of my life. For now. I didn’t hear anything for a while. I took that as the silence that took place after he had left. I slowly opened my eyes as they started to well up and pour out of my eyes. I started to shake and sniffle as I let out the sob I’ve been holding in. I was shaking so hard, I couldn’t sit straight anymore. Let myself fall into my bed as the tears ran and ran and the shaking conitnued. Then I heard it. The footsteps. He was still here? No, no. NO! I took the first pillow I could reach.. I made my way out my room and I saw him. Standing there. His eyes full pain and agony. He put a hand up in surrender. “Wait..” he started but I cut him, whipping the pillow to his face. “GET OUT.” I screamed at him. I saw the fear in eyes, and I knew it was deffinetly not the fear of losing me and that was what shredded inside of me. “NOW” I screamed again as I just saw him stand there, not knowing what to do. He finally got the point, I didn’t want him here. He bent his head down for a millisecond, I took that as a farewell as he made his way out my front door and out of my life..